at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
