you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize
