I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize