Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
