His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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