I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my being single is dangerous.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
