if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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