Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You are the jesus of drinking
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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