could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
