yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
