I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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