I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
