Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
