found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
