We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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