That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
