I'm really into asian looking animals
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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