how can u be prego again
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
