I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
