At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
