She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
