Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I could make wine with my vomit
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
