But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
