ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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