From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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