My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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