Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize