im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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