Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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