He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i think i just lost a toe
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
