How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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