windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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