i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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