Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Boobs are out for the taking
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
