So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize