Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
