I bet he comes in French.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
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You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
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Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight