i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.