We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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