I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
