that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
