He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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