Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
