I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
