I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
