it was like his penis was on wheels.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
