last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
