OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I stole a fireplace last night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
