We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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