dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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