my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating