I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch