Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room http://tfl.nu/2egq
  Replies (50) Good night (1623) Bad night (8142)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that http://tfl.nu/ftma
  Replies (29) Good night (604) Bad night (4425)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me http://tfl.nu/ry9s
  Replies (35) Good night (30025) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.

  (631): View more from New York

  Cruelly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away. (631): Cruelly. http://tfl.nu/5k20
  Replies (23) Good night (4078) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  So you threw a sword at me last night

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): So you threw a sword at me last night (419): I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised. http://tfl.nu/6fwc
  Replies (11) Good night (5704) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich http://tfl.nu/k8p8
  Replies (14) Good night (6190) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  He looks like he has a penis

  (210): View more from Texas

  What the fuck

  (432): View more from Texas

  A good one, a good penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): He looks like he has a penis (210): What the fuck (432): A good one, a good penis http://tfl.nu/0vhk
  Replies (8) Good night (4137) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars http://tfl.nu/ybwb
  Replies (37) Good night (1823) Bad night (4738)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait. http://tfl.nu/31q4
  Replies (6) Good night (1324) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this? http://tfl.nu/dpdb
  Replies (31) Good night (1019) Bad night (1661)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now. http://tfl.nu/er1x
  Replies (7) Good night (1245) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab. (617): What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family! http://tfl.nu/wlta
  Replies (16) Good night (3957) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude http://tfl.nu/hndb
  Replies (10) Good night (1087) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again http://tfl.nu/hogt
  Replies (0) Good night (467) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  did i make more ranch sandwiches last night

  (269): View more from Michigan

  you had 4

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): did i make more ranch sandwiches last night (269): you had 4 http://tfl.nu/kctz
  Replies (0) Good night (397) Bad night (509)

Randomize