I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.