my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.