yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
