I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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