I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
