I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
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i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
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Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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