she looked like the before picture.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
