it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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