trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
