I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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