there's paper in my vomit.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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